Failed Attempts

It has felt a lot, lately, like I am going in thirteen different directions all the time, but not successfully getting anywhere. This morning, I attended the Ash Wednesday Mass at our church, and this song really spoke to me, especially the second verse:

We offer your our failures
we offer you attempts.
The gifts not fully given,

The dreams not fully dreamt.
Give our stumblings direction,

Give our vision wider view,

An offering of ashes,

an offering to you. 

Most of the time, I don't feel like a great mother, or a great wife, or a great anything. I feel like I'm sort of stuck in a Groundhog's Day haze of packing lunches, school dropping-off, potty-training, story-reading, dinner-making, kitchen-cleaning, and laundry-doing. The to-do list is never-ending and recently I've added a bit of tutoring and a project for my Etsy shop to the list, which is okay, because I enjoy it and it's nice to have a bit of extra money on hand and also I'm reminded that I have skills that don't include worrying about other living beings' bodily functions. But things are busy and I keep forgetting little things, like sending in a gently used book for the library book swap, and taking the cookie money to the girls scouts meeting, and not drying the shirt I'm not supposed to dry. (But, can we just agree that it's 2018 and clothes should be made to go in the dryer? Kthanks.)

So, anyway. I'm appreciative. I'm looking forward to Lent as a season of renewal and a time to focus on improving, hopefully, in preparation for Easter.  I've got a checklist of things I'm going to work on (taking a break from facebook and the gigantic time-suck that it has become is one of them), and I'm certain at some point I'm going to fail - but I appreciate that God sees that I'm trying. BECAUSE I REALLY AM. I'm really trying not to yell and lose my patience. I'm really trying not to hit snooze so many times in the mornings because the day goes so much more smoothly when I have a few moments to get my head on straight before the kids are up.  I'm really trying to appreciate the time I have to sit with my kids and play, and I'm trying not to go crazy when we're listening to Moana for the 47th car ride in a row.  I'm trying to do the good things and remember to say my prayers and offer to say them with my kids, too.  And give myself some grace.

Because this is tough, and it's nice to be reminded that even our failed attempts mean something, too.

(almost) Six and Two (and-a-half)

I normally have some sort of plan for what I'm going to write about in a blog post, but not tonight. Ryan is working late and I'm sitting here, in the quiet, after both kids are finally asleep.  We had a little mini thunderstorm tonight just as I was getting both of them settled - this of course resulted in unsettling them entirely.

I don't know how to make a pie chart on a blog post, but let's just say we had 100 thunderstorms in a year...this is how the breakdown would go.

Morning:3 calm little thunderstorms that make you want to dance in the rain
Midday: 4 normal thunderstorms
Evening: 7 slightly unnerving thunderstorms where the sky looks kinda weird
Bedtime: SEVENTY-FIVE long, loud thunderstorms.
Middle of the Night: 11 thunderstorms that shake the house and wake all the children.

WHY? It always starts thundering right after they've gotten quiet but haven't fallen asleep yet.

Oh, well.

I told you I didn't have a plan, so if you're still here, don't say you weren't warned.

Nora turns SIX later this week. This seems ridiculously old.  Five was all cute - yay, kindergarten, hooray, you can read, yippee, you can take a shower with minimal supervision!  Six... six is like, well, okay, I guess it's time to figure out what you're going to do for a job now.

Maybe not. I don't know. I've never done this before.  (These sentences seem like a good summary of parenting. Maybe that's what I'll title my book that I don't have time to write.)

At (almost) six, Nora loves:
- unicorns
- rainbows
- Hatchimals
- science experiments
- gymnastics, soccer
- dance parties
- planning her unicorn-rainbow-painting-dancing birthday party
- all things crafty (We went to Hobby Lobby the other day, and OH MY, the look on her face. She was imagining all of the magical, beautiful, glittery things she could make, and I was imagining an empty bank account.)
- her friends. She's especially enjoying that she has a few friends whose parents we know well enough that she is allowed to go play at their houses without me tagging along every time.
- riding the bus
- gym and art class

Today the first thing she said when she got off the bus was "Today we got to measure THREE THINGS. I measured my friend, the calendar, and Mrs. Chase's desk.  And then we said, like, whether we were bigger or smaller."  Then she told me all about a coloring party that she got to go to at the end of the day as a prize for doing their Christmas break reading challenge.

Joseph is his own little bundle of fun these days.  He has always been a bit of a chatterbox, but now he talks in complete sentences and has these funny little one-liners that always catch us off guard. Yesterday morning, we were all getting ready for church, and he came into the bathroom after Ryan helped him get dressed.

J: "I all dressed! I go to church!"
Me: Well, don't you look dapper in your little vest?
J: Ya. It's wunnerful.
Me: Awww it is wonderful! You're just so sweet.
J: Ya, I so sweet, and you so sweet.

Also, he refers to the bandanna the groomer put on Zadie after her most recent haircut as a "band-aid."

We have recently started working on potty-training. We've learned that if we just tell him it's time to go potty, he says "No. I shooting hoops" or whatever it is that he's busy with. But, if we set a timer on our phones and the little song goes off, he think it's amazing and he runs right to the bathroom.  He's doing pretty well and we may start to venture on short errands sans-diapers soon. (Maybe.)

His favorite things currently include shooting hoops in the playroom, visiting the indoor playground (where he spends most of the time shooting hoops), trains, doing dinosaur puzzles, going to the Children's Museum to see the dinosaurs and trains, and going to the zoo to see the dolphin show.

In summary: basketball, trains, vertebrates that start with D

Tonight we did a science experiment from Nora's science kit called Rocket Balls.  Basically, they made bouncy balls. And then they bounced them all over the house and nearly broke all the things.  Despite my gray hairs, I am enjoying that we're now able to do activities that they both enjoy.  We still save the more "involved" projects and activities for when Joseph is napping or Ryan is home to help, but it's fun to see them learning to work together. Nora is learning to gently lead, and Joseph is learning to understand directions and play with a friend (albeit a friend who often dresses him up in her favorite outfits).

That's all for now, friends. Have a great week. :)

2018: Day One Thoughts

2017 was pretty good to us. Besides a few minor bugs, we all stayed healthy.  Nora enjoyed her last semester of preschool and later started kindergarten.  Aside from learning to read, write, and count to 100 (over and over and over again), she spends much of her free time coloring and crafting, drawing and painting pictures for everyone she knows.  If you come to visit, you're likely to leave with at least one Nora original, which you may want to hang onto because she might just be famous one day.  She continues to be our independent little girl who does her thing and marches to the beat of her own drummer - and we're perfectly okay with that because, most of the time, with it comes her sweet generosity and that contagious shoulder-shaking giggle.

Joseph has found his calling as a paleontologist at the Children's Museum and Dolphin Show Expert at the zoo, as well as squeezing in plenty of time to fill the sandbox with water from the hose and perfect his jump shot on the Little Tikes basketball goal in the playroom.  He is a "baby school" dropout, given that Mommy doesn't also attend baby school and, in his mind, this is Unacceptable with a Very Capital U.  Nevertheless, thanks to Nora's teaching, he can tell you an animal for each letter of the alphabet, including "J for JoeJoe AND jellyfish!"  Though he looks more like me, he is Ryan's mini, preferring his routine of waking up, eating two bowls of cereal, playing some basketball, watching his favorite shows, and going to the "big Butler games" at every opportunity.

Ryan and I have become painting extraordinaires, thanks mostly to the go-getter (or just plain dumb, depending how you look at it) attitude we had back in 2015 when we bought a house that needed A LOT of paint less than two months before Joseph was born.  Since we (I) thought it would be a great idea to volunteer to host not one but both families this Christmas, we finally got motivated and finished the paint in the family room and kitchen.

We generally travel a lot at Christmas, and by New Year's, we loathe the idea of ever getting back into a car or packing a suitcase again.  This year, I said HEY! How 'bout your family comes for Christmas Day (weekend), and my family comes later in the week! It'll be great!

It was great.  We had lots of fun; Santa even came with a Hatchimal, a butterfly house, a train table, and a bunch of dinosaurs in tow. I drank a lot of wine, ate (and made) a lot of food, and enjoyed having a house full of family.  But holy moly cow (as Nora says), I'm tired of holidays and ready for a little normal.  In between the two visits, Nora caught a tummy bug or the flu or something and spent one day throwing up and a solid five days barely getting off the couch.  In an unprecedented moment, she PUT HERSELF TO BED at 6:30 one night.  She tried so hard to keep up with her cousins while they were here, but mostly watched from the closest chair.  (She did regain enough energy to open presents. Priorities, people.)   Today, however, she is mostly back to her normal self, and I, after disinfecting the house at least 37 times, am the exhausted one - just in time for Joseph to be starting a germfest of his own, which thankfully does not appear to be as draining as the first.

I'm not really a New Year's Resolution kind of person, preferring instead to reflect and grow continuously and as life allows.  I finally got enough sleep in 2017 (not exactly 8 hours a night, but also not 4 interrupted and half in a rocking chair) to work toward some goals I've had for a long time, and I hope to do more of the same in 2018.  I have found that, if I let things be, I'm given many opportunities to practice my patience, to give generously of my time and money, and find joy in little things, while also quietly trying to turn this crazy house into a home and have a bit of a side business in addition to being Mommy and all that the role entails.  It's no small feat but one toward which I'm always working.

I haven't uploaded the pictures from the actual camera yet, but here's some favorites from my phone:

When Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas, he said "Toys. Dinosaur toys."

Santa came! Zadie knows one of those stockings is for her.

By the middle of Christmas morning, Joseph was A PRO at opening presents.

She made me a headband :)

Our little scientist, creator, crafter, ready to do an experiment from her new science kit.

All five of the "big" kids followed me upstairs to get Joseph out of his bed after he woke from his nap.  They love their "Baby Joe" and cater to his every wish - which means they played a lot of basketball while they were here.

I lit four candles in the center of six children. LOL.

My people.

Happy New Year to you and yours! May it bring you peace and joy.

The Great Toy Clean Out

Hey friends,
I'm cleaning out toys and some baby stuff. If you're interested, let me know what you'd like either via text or facebook PM. Prices and info listed under each item. I'm happy to answer questions! I'll try to update this list as people buy stuff.

SOLD $3 Doc McStuffins magnetic dress-up doll with stand.

SOLD $1 - In good shape.

$2 Shape Sorter

SOLD. $10 Vtech scooter bike. Used mostly inside. Plays music and lights up.

$1 baby toy. They can make it a ball or lay it flat.

$1 Little ducky roller thingy. Good for crawlers.

SOLD $2 Stacking balls. Snap together to form balls or stack.

$10 Crib Lights/Music Soother.  Projects a picture on the ceiling. Volume and time control.
Visit https://www.vtechkids.com/product/detail/13371/Lil_Critters_Soothe_and_Surprise_Light for more info. This plays when the baby cries in the night, so take that into consideration. (You can turn it off.)

$5 Old school Bumbo seat. No straps like those fancy new ones. ;)

SOLD $3 dancer dress-up puzzle

$3 penguins pull-along toy

$1 Cruella car. Plays music.

SOLD $2 Ball popper toy.

SOLD $5 super cute toddler/preschool size apron set

$1 baby hammer. You could put a link thingy on it and put it in the carseat.

$1 each, baby board books. Top right is Easter. Mealtime one has a tear on the cover, but still sturdy. Lower left is called Counting Kisses - sorry about the glare.

$4. Chicken pull-along toy. Lays eggs and clucks.

SOLD $2 Baby fishy. Squeeze the handle for lights/music. They can roll it (but it doesn't go by itself)

$3 toddler/preschool size apron

SOLD $1 Baby cell phone.

$5 Scholastic Books Apple Picking game for learning letters.

SOLD $3 foam blocks

SOLD $3 inchworm toy. Even goes well on carpet. Great for crawlers.

SOLD $3 baby discovery box. Soft fabric with several soft, baby-safe toys inside (see below)

See above - these fit inside the box

SOLD $4 Magnetic color sorter. Balls cannot come out, so this is great for the car/restaurants.

$1 each. Baby toys, good for car seats.

$1 each, baby toys

SOLD $3 soft fabric book. Lots of flaps and manipulatives. Super cute.

$2 fabric stacking/nesting blocks

SOLD $4 light up drum. Plays fun songs and sounds.

$8 Fur Real dog. Barks, whimpers, and walks. (Thankfully this is not too loud.)

$10 Baby Bjorn. We used this with Nora.

$8 Baby bath seat. Reclines for smaller babies.

SOLD $2 Stacking Rings.

$2 roller coaster thingy

$5 Babies love this thing. About 18 inches tall. They can bop it and it won't fall. Plays music.

SOLD $10. Much loved but like new B brand Zany Zoo.

$4 Selling these together because one of the blocks is missing. The left spins when baby pushes the red lever; the right drops the blocks down to alternating sides. Both are Fisher Price.

$2 mini-van. Plays music.Trunk opens.

$3 Puppy house. Plays cute music, top right thing spins.

$SOLD 3 Baby guitar. Cute; my kids have just outgrown it.

$2 Stacking/nesting cardboard blocks.

SOLD $2 each, baby/early toddler puzzles

ALL SOLD $2, Early toddler puzzles (Number puzzle SOLD)

SOLD $5 Car garage with keys.

$10 Rocking Horse. This has been much loved and we fixed one of the bolts on the bottom, but it's super cute and still has a lot of life left in it. Perfect size for new walkers and toddlers.

$2 Carseat Canopy

$4 Carters size 6 months fleece snowsuit. Super cute and very warm.