Hello, Second Trimester!

It has been a month since I have written, because, well, I couldn't figure out how to add a new blog post.

Yesterday marked the start of 14 weeks for my pregnancy.  Each day is full of new wonders, wishes, and yes, worries, which I have been assured by every experienced mother will last approximately the rest of my life.  Every day I am convinced that "it" is either a boy or a girl.  When I dream at night, it is a boy; when my thoughts wander while I'm awake, it's a girl -- so I guess what I'm saying is that I really have no idea.

Regina Spektor's "The Call" played on my Pandora account earlier today while I sorted mail in the office.  I teared up a little (this happens a lot lately - my apologies and thanks to my husband for dealing with it like a champ) as I listened to the opening lyrics.  The song has nothing to do with babies; in fact, it is from the Chronicles of Narnia movie, which is a story that I'm not very familiar with (don't get mad, elementary school teachers).  Here is the part that got me:

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word...

And then that word grew louder and louder
Until it was a battle cry
-Regina Spektor, "The Call"

I wouldn't say that I'm in battle cry mode, exactly, but it made me think of how, when we first started talking about trying to conceive, a baby was an almost-crazy figment of our imaginations - something that would happen later, but not now.  And then I felt more tired than usual, and then I found myself in tears in the bathroom at school (something that has happened maybe once or twice in four years, and never in the middle of the day), and it was a feeling - that maybe, just maybe, something was different. Then I took that first positive pregnancy test, and suddenly life and all of our priorities changed.  This tiny bunch of cells was what I hoped for more than anything in the world, and it became a quiet thought.  And then Ryan came home from work, and without me even telling him, he knew from the look on my face (and the fact that it had been a couple of weeks and was probably about time to start wondering if our attempts had worked) that everything was different.  And quietly, we went about the world with our secret, that only we knew, until it became a word - we happily told our families, and then our friends, and our co-workers and bosses. 

In a way, this baby is our battle cry, because he or she is what we're willing to fight for more than anything else.  I have to say, in the midst of this morning sickness and other physical symptoms of which I won't go into detail, I do sometimes feel like I'm fighting an uphill battle - to be healthy, to stay active and on top of things, and even to gain the weight that I need to.

I couldn't find the official video, but here is the song:

That's all for me today.  Hopefully it will be less than a month before I write again.