Yes, I see you standing over there, gently swaying and bouncing even though you aren't currently holding your baby. I knew it was you, because you have spit up on your shoulder, your hair is in a ponytail, and you smell like curdled milk. If I prompted you, I bet you could cry on command.
I know you are tired, but let me tell you this: this first time your baby crawls away from you in the middle of a diaper change, with poo still clinging to her little booty, you're going to miss these newborn days so much that you will ache inside. [Unrelated disclaimer: no, I am not ready for another baby. I enjoy sleep.] So, take my advice:
Stop worrying about sleep schedules and snuggle with that beautiful little angel. There are smart, beautiful women who waste entire maternity leaves attempting to get the baby to sleep on a schedule, and the fact is, before they're 2 months old, it's really not even worth trying. Sure, there are things you can do to help - lay them down awake instead of nursing them to sleep, swaddle them, etc. etc. But you already know all of those things, because I bet while you were pregnant you read 76 articles about it and asked 14 mom friends for advice on the subject. Or maybe even 176 articles and 14 mom friends and 12 women who you met in line at the grocery store.
Also, yes: a baby should sleep on his back in a crib with no bumpers and no toys and no blankies and no fun. It's the safest place. But you know what is also great? Sleep. And by sleep, I mean YOU: ASLEEP. So, if your baby insists that the crib that you spent hours obsessing over is for the birds, then put that sweet little cherub in a swing (or a bouncy seat, or something else similar), make sure they are strapped in and can't get any blankets in their face, and don't fret.
It's okay to let the baby cry for a few minutes. Scenario 1: Baby is napping, then wakes up and cries. You are home alone and have to go to the bathroom. What do you do?
a. go, then get the baby
b. get the baby, then go
c. get the baby, forget about going to the bathroom, and develop a bladder infection.
The correct answer is A. Seize the day while you can go to the bathroom without a small human being
Your house will never be clean again. I'm sorry. I'd give you advice on this, but if you saw my house right now, you'd know better than to take it.
After I had a baby, I thought that my postpartum hormones weren't that bad. Then they went away, and I realized how bonkers I really was. This isn't really advice, but perhaps you can relate, so I guess that might help you.
I'm sorry about your boobs. I know they hurt and they're being assaulted every 2-3 hours by a cranky newborn with impossibly scratchy fingernails. Stick with it, though: it will get easier. He won't always want to eat 57 times a day. And, if your body puts the kabosh on the milk-making, then accept it, buy some formula, and move on. If anyone gives you a hard time for feeding your baby formula instead of breastmilk, punch them in the face. (Disclaimer: this is not legal, at least in this country.)
Mom guilt is a powerful thing, and we've all got some of it. We feel guilty for staying home, guilty or going back to work, guilty for letting the baby watch cartoons so we can just take a shower without a steady whine in the background, guilty for not playing enough with the baby, guilty for playing too much with the baby and not letting her play on her own, guilty for watching trashy TV while nursing the baby, guilty for having a C-section, guilty for getting an epidural, guilty for sending the baby to the nursery at night in the hospital, guilty for getting a babysitter so you can get a pedicure, guilty for reading that beach-read novel instead of the baby brain book, and on. and onandonandonandon. Here's the deal, though: nobody's perfect, and as long as you love your baby and do what you can to keep him healthy and make sure he learns and grows, then you're doing a wonderful job. Plus, in my house, if Mama's not happy, nobody's happy.
Finally, enjoy. Enjoy the little baby that God has given you. There is nothing in the world like holding your sleeping newborn baby.
Love,
Another Mommy Who Knows What It's Like
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