Ups and Downs

I promise that I am counting my blessings that I have a healthy, kicking little girl growing away.  But, I am having to work very hard to be patient lately with the people that think it's great fun to make ridiculous comments about the growth of my stomach.  I love my baby bump, and so does my husband, and we spend great amounts of time staring at it waiting for it to flutter from a kick or flip.  However, because it's been driving me crazy, I'd like to share some of the more frustrating comments I've heard lately... 

Comment: "Hey! It's about time for those tent shirts."
What I want to say: At least mine are for covering a baby bump. Can we talk about your beer belly?
What I said: "Ha...Monica Potter wore this same shirt on Parenthood last week, so I've decided to wear it as much as possible."

Comment: "Ah, you've graduated to the big bag [of animal crackers] now...the little ones weren't cutting it anymore."
What I want to say: Listen, I know I ate lunch ten minutes ago, but I saw these in my desk drawer, and they looked delicious. I'm SUPPOSED to gain weight, and I'm hormonal, so watch your back. Plus they were on sale.
What I said: Nothing. I just smiled and kept eating them.

Comment: "Hey, fatty."
What I wanted to say: Hey, wordthatIwon'tpostonhere.
What I said: "When can I start calling you fatty?"  (Yes, I really said that. No, it wasn't nice, but seriously...)

Comment: "Can you please stop doing that [rubbing my stomach]? It's making me nervous."
What I wanted to say: I'm sorry. When was the last time you were kicked in the stomach/kidney/bladder?  Relax. It's called a baby, and this is what happens.
What I said: "I'm fine; she's just kicking."

Comment: "Look at that little bulge! Your baby is going to weigh like two pounds."
What I wanted to say: Let's not talk about how it would be not good if my kid weighed two pounds, k? K.
What I said: Nothing. My friend changed the subject. Thank you, KB. :)

And, because I feel like I need to balance the negativity, here is a list of things I'm grateful for:
- A healthy, kicking baby who is growing right on track
- A supportive, excited family that will be banging down the hospital doors the minute she is born (but will be kind and give us a moment to regroup before actually entering)
- Friends that love our little Zap (which is Paz backwards...dubbed by a good friend and picked up on by some other good friends)
- People that ask how I'm feeling - because, let's face it, I'm a lot better than I was the first trimester, but waking up with leg cramps at least a couple of times a week, a constant feeling of tiredness, and a stretching stomach are no walk in the park.
- My husband. He's wonderful and patient and kind, and he never judges me for eating peanut butter and chocolate chip sandwiches within a 1/2 hour of eating dinner.
- My student that picked up the whole box of markers after I spilled it everywhere
- The nice worker at Starbucks who gave me my caramel apple spice for free because I had to wait 15 minutes